š¬ I don't want to be a product of my environment.
I want my environment to be a product of me. Welcome back to The Reel!
Estimated reading time: 6 mins 34 seconds.
The influence of COVID-19 pervades all, and the world of entertainment is no different. The most high profile news story in film was, to begin with, Tom Hanks contracting coronavirus. Thankfully, he seems to be on the mend:
(If youāre extremely confused by the above, itās worth noting that Hanx and his wife Rita Wilson are currently in isolation in Australia.)
Since then, of course, thereās been Idris Elba (heal well, Stringer Bell), as well as the news that many film releases are being delayed due to the virus.
Films to have postponed release since the new Bond film include A Quiet Place Part II, Mulan and F9 (the ninth Fast & Furious film, who in Godās name saw that longevity coming).
ABOVE (Mulan): One of nineteen total live-action remakes planned by Disney.
In other news, āwfhā has swiftly become the most used acronym of the year.
Sitting down all day without leaving the house reminds me of studying for the Leaving Cert, only I donāt have braces anymore and the phrase āAyia Napaā is now just a faint memory of drinking so much that I cried and pissed myself.
Twice.
Now for some reviews!
This week:Ā Ā Reality, racing, and everything starts coming together.
šļøĀ I stream, you stream, we all stream for content.
Drive To SurviveĀ (2020), series, created by Netflix & Formula 1.
Love Is BlindĀ (2020), series, created by Chris Coelen.
One of the few companies poised to do well (or at least, not terribly) out of the current situation is Netflix, who are still churning out content.
Netflix are also diversifying their line-up even further with original reality TV, and what we might call āserialised sports season documentariesā?
The second season of Drive To Survive was released recently, and itās every bit as good as the first. Iāve never been massively into sport (my second-favourite sport after rugby was, for a long time, quidditch), but I watched the whole season quicker than you can say TikTok. Itās addictive.
More than anything, itās a masterpiece in editing. Consider how many thousand hours of footage are shot, how many storylines and viewpoints there are to show, and how coherent is the finished product.
Overall, the best racing experience since Burnout 3: Takedown.
And now from goodā¦ to bad.
ABOVE (Love Is Blind): Never have I been more apathetic about a group of people. Ever.
Iāll confess before I say anything else - I only watched the first two episodes of Love Is Blind. This is simply because it is one of the worst things I have ever watched in my whole life. This has been said to death by everyone with a brain whoās watched this, but Iāll throw my hat in the ring.
Who are this people? What is going on in their brains? How does a concept like this exist?
The biggest problem I have is the supposed āconnectionsā they make while in the pods. They fall in love because they both like barbeques? Are you joking me?
This is described well in episode 14 of the best podcast in Ireland. If thatās all it takes to fall in love, Iād be engaged every time I go into a bookshop.
I can see the cringe entertainment aspect to it, but even that didnāt redeem it enough to get me past two episodes. I hope theyāre all happily ever after, now that theyāre finally blind. That is how it ends, isnāt it?
Side note:
While looking for Love Is Blind memes, I found (completely unrelated) the best/worst meme of all time:
Ok but Crocodile is not blind.
#R.I.P.
Look out for:Ā Ā Guenther Steiner, team principal of Haas F1, is again the star of Drive to Survive. I assume at this point youāve heard of āthe boxā scene in Love Is Blind? Prepare to bleed from your eyes.
If you liked this:Ā Ā Slightly less cringe than Love Is Blind because theyāre not American, Channel 4ās 5 Guys A Week is still just as bonkers. I hear good things of Ford vs. Ferrari, but Rush is the last racing film I remember being any use.
Rating:Ā Drive to SurviveĀ āāāāĀ Love Is BlindĀ ā
š¤« Fingers on lips, or an alien will eat you.
A Quiet PlaceĀ (2018), film, directed by Joh Krasinski.
As much as I am a science fiction fan, I am not a horror fan, so I was conflicted when A Quiet Place was first released. In it, a family try to survive in post-apocalyptic America, hiding from aliens that hunt their prey by sound.
ABOVE: Distressed font, in white and red? Ominous shadows? A bath?? This must be a poster for a horror film!
I suffer from a compulsive need to read movie plots on Wikipedia if I donāt think Iām going to see the film (this has ruined many a twist for me). I did just that two years ago.
What a mistake.
Now having actually watched it, itās a brilliant film. I would say itās more sci-fi thriller than horror, and itās supremely well made. The Officeās John Krasinski stars and directs, alongside the peerless Emily Blunt (his wife IRL).
These two are offensively charming:
Naturally, the sound in the film is amazing, but itās the performances that really elevate this from average to almost perfect. Krasinski and Blunt play parents who must be shitting themselves with fear at any given moment, but stay brave for the sake of their children.
Seeing Krasinski in action here is inspiring, heartbreaking, and all the more impressive considering heās behind the camera as well. Emily Blunt, as she always does, smashes it as a caring mother with the best character arc in the film.
Weāll have to wait longer for the sequel, but itās one Iāll be seeing in the cinema this time.
Look out for:Ā Weāve all seen many celluloid aliens at this point in our lives, but these ones are uniquely designed (and propa scary). The birth scene, shown in the trailer, is a complete nail-biter.
If you liked this:Ā Ā Looper is another sci-fi spectacular that stars Emily Blunt. However, it has to be the OG every-12-year-old-boyās-favourite film, I Am Legend, that should be your go-to after this.
Rating:Ā āāāā
ā© Quickies
Short and snappy reviews for a short and snappy time:
The Lincoln LawyerĀ (2011, film, dir. Brad Furman): āā
Considered by some to be the start of the āMcConaissanceā, I was disappointed. Thereās an adjective Iām thinking of to describe this film. Iāll give you a clue: if you say it three times in a row youāll be doing an impression of the leading man himself.
ABOVE (The Lincoln Lawyer): This guy is much too handsome to be a lawyer. He should be an actor or something.
The Crew (fr. Braqueurs)Ā (2016, film, dir. Julien Leclercq): āāā
Oh la vache! Mon dieu! Zer are men robeeng zat bank! Zey āav guns! And cool outfits! But zer is not much plot or, āow you say, personnalitĆ©? Bah, āoo cares! Bang bang, baby!
ABOVE (The Crew): Itās like the film Heat, but in French and not as good. You could call it ā(pire que) La Chaleur.ā
True RomanceĀ (1993, film, dir. Tony Scott): āāā
Famously written by Quentin Tarantino, this is another film where I just donāt see the hype. Worth it to remind yourself that there was once a time where Christian Slater was extremely cool - Heathers being the obvious pinnacle.
š Quote of the Week(s)
Ricciardo: āNetflix are a real bunch of c*nts arenāt they?ā
Ricciardo: āā¦ I would love for them to play that.ā
Italiano: āTheyāre not going to play that.ā
Netflix call Daniel Ricciardoās bluff (without censoring) in Drive To Survive.
š
Previously, in pop cultureā¦
Landmark events from the last two weeks in film & TV histoire:
Mar 5Ā -Ā In 2019, Kylie Jenner becomes the world's youngest-ever billionaire at 21, according to Forbes.
Mar 5Ā -Ā Planet Earth, narrated by David Attenborough, premieres on BBC in 2006.
ABOVE: From the only nature documentary that can beat Planet Earth - Planet Earth II š„
Mar 15Ā - The Godfather, directed by Francis Ford Coppola and starring Marlon Brando and Al Pacino, premieres in NYC in 1972.
Mar 2Ā -Ā English actress Natasha Richardson dies of a traumatic brain injury in in 2009, aged 45.
ā
Th-th-thatās all, folks.
Thank you very much for reading another edition of The Reel!
These have gotten progressively longer each week, so I will do my best to significantly reduce the reading time. Especially because weāre now going weekly with The Reel, due to current cooped-up circumstances š
A special thank you and shout out to my friend, colleague, mentor and rival, the uber-talented @katecleary_, for The Reelās new logo! In exchange for this wondrous gift, you may name my first-born child.
If you have any recommendations of things to review, please send them to me, because God knows I now have the time š¤·āāļø
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Thank you again, and remember, Ok but Crocodile is not blind.
See you next week!
xxx
Previous Reels:
š¬ Mar 4 -Ā Donāt F**k With Cats, Booksmart, The Two Popes.
š¬ Feb 13 -Ā Friends With Benefits, No Strings Attached.