🎬 "She isn't coming yet, Toto."
The Wizard of Oz (1939). Welcome to the 26th edition of The Reel!
Estimated reading time: 6m 3s.
In the sleepy little town of Ireland, life is returning to normal.
Restaurants and bars are awash with the great unwashed, cinemas and museums are filled with the great unfulfilled, and The Reel’s subscribers’ inboxes are afire with the great unfire — i.e. this blog.
As in, this blog is not fire. 🚫🔥
But it’s back!
Well, what are you waiting for? Dive right in!
It's actually grand once you're in there!
Wow, I feel amazing!
I can feel the hangover curing now haha!
Can you see the shore? Maybe we should head back!
I actually can't swim haha, this is really dangerous!
Gluggurrrgle gluuggggbbl!
Time for some reviews!
This week: Wiseguys, free guys, and a shaken not stirred… guy.
🤵 End of the line, Mr. Bond.
No Time to Die (2021), film, directed by Cary Joji Fukunaga.
Flames to dust, lovers to friends. All good things must come to an end, and Daniel Craig’s time as Jimothy M. Bond has been (mostly) very good.
No Time to Die isn’t a patch on Craig’s best work in Casino Royale or Skyfall, but it’s an entertaining affair that zipped by for its 163 minute running time.
Considerably middle-aged Bond has retired for what must be the eighth time, but the emergence of a chilling new villain in Rami Malek’s Safin pullls him back in, kissing and screaming. Tangled up in his latest & last mission for queen and/or country are Lea Séydoux as complicated love interest Madeline and Ralph Fiennes as M/not-Judi-Dench, among others.
Director Cary Joji Fukunaga helmed the superb first season of True Detective. Character and emotion are clearly his strengths, as that is where No Time to Die is at its strongest: endlessly tortured Bond is at a self-loathing peak, and Safin is a genuinely enthralling, disturbing entrant into the Bond canon.
However, therein also lies the film’s greatest weakness: Bond’s relationship with his supposed great love Madeline is about as convincing as Lidl-brand Percy Pigs, and much less amusing.
Action and humour have been cornerstones of the best Bond films, and they are both lacking here. Confusing camerawork distracts from the PG violence, and there is scant evidence of Phoebe-Waller Bridge’s much publicised script rewrite.
However, that’s a lot of negatives for a film that pulled off that rarest of things: a fitting farewell to an actor’s tenure as film’s most questionable role model. It’s polished, (mostly) plausible, at times powerful — and at the very least, it’s a lot better than Die Another Day.
Look out for:
The king of blockbuster bassoons finally has his hands on another biggie! Hans Zimmer scores this film, but you won’t need me to tell you that. His trademark horns are even more obvious than the Heineken product placement.
If you liked this:
Prefer your espionage less punchy-shooty and more talky-drinky? Tinker Tailor Solder Spy might be the ultimate masterclass in subterfugal cinema. And judge not PWB on her efforts here: watch her excellent spy series Killing Eve instead, which is coming to a conclusion next year.
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐
🤌 I’m walkin’ here.
The Many Saints of Newark (2021), film, directed by Alan Taylor.
What was the root cause of Tony Soprano’s anxiety?
Was New Jersey a happenin’ place in the 1960s?
Who or what is a gabbagool?
You might think The Many Saints of Newark would answer these burning questions, but alas, you would be disappointed.
This Sopranos prequel is a textured portrayal of some peripheral characters from the iconic series, but if, like me, you have watched only watched two seasons (or, God forbid, NONE) of the show, you’ll find it sorely lacking.
When I say nothing happens in this film… I mean, nothing happens in this film. Alessandro Nivola (who?) plays Jersey gangster Dickie Moltisanti, a teenaged Tony Soprano’s uncle. Moltisanti as a character and Nivola’s performance are so bland, it’s like they left the provolone outta the pastrami ifyaknowwhaddamean.
The late James Gandolfini’s real-life son Michael fares a lot better as a young Tony Soprano, and Vera Famiga, to her credit, is phenomenal as Tony’s mother Livia. But if you’re not invested in these characters from watching the series, then you betta scram oudda heah kid ‘cos there’s nothin’ here for ya.
The culture and movements of the time are barely explored outside of the first ten minutes. A much hyped gang “war” manifests itself in a single shootout, and not even a good one at that.
There’s a smattering of extreme violence to titillate the tough guys, and one or two genuine laughs. But overall, this is one strunz who shoulda stayed sleepin’ with the fishes.
(That got old fast, didn’t it.)
Look out for:
Jon Bernthal and Corey Stoll, while good, are left-field choices to play Italian-American gangsters, Stoll in particular. If he was any more WASP-seeming he’d have black and yellow fur and a poison spike in his derrière, my good man.
If you liked this:
One of my favourite sub-genres of YouTube videos is “Expert Reviews Famous Film Scenes” wherein a soldier/doctor/martial artist will review war/medical/… martial arts scenes from films. Michael Franzese is (apparently) a former mob boss, and this is one of his better such videos.
Ratings: ⭐⭐
⏩ Quickies
Short and snappy reviews for a short and snappy time:
Stath Lets Flats: Season 1 (2018, series, cre. Jamie Demetriou): ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Cometh the hour, cometh the British-Cypriot letting agent man. The titular character of Stath, an invention of series and star Jamie Demetriou, is some kind of Basil Fawlty/Ali G hybrid that needs to be seen to be believed. Laughed more in the first two minutes than I did when I heard my dog died (which admittedly was not funny at all).
Free Guy (2021, film, dir. Shawn Levy): ⭐⭐⭐
For someone so big and strong, Ryan Reynolds is impressively non-threatening. He’s like a big, strong, nice man. So hard to come by these days. The world would be a lot better place if all the big and strong men were also nice. Am I not wrong? My name is Alex Gogarty and today I will be dis-
Beckett (2021, film, dir. Ferdinando Cito Filomarino): ⭐⭐
If you’re going to name your film this, it better: a) be about Samuel Beckett, or b) be about the coolest, most amazing and outrageous character ever who will give new meaning and significance to the name Beckett! As you might surmise from the paltry rating and below image, neither of these are true.
📃 Quote of the Week(s)
Stath: “Oh, blimey, hell, there's a man in the bathroom. I can see his willy!
… Just joking! It's a lovely flat, there's no willies.”
If you haven’t already, please, please watch even just the opening scene of Stath Lets Flats (free on All4). Maybe returning to the office has fried my brain but by golly I find it funny.
✅ Th-th-that’s all, folks.
Thank you very much for reading!
The Reel will return in two weeks, with slightly more diverse content! (Aisling Bea, anyone?)
Did you hate this with all your guts?
Do you have a suggestion on how to improve it, or, strangely, make it worse?
Is there a joke that you’ve been dying to tell someone, but no one will give you the time of day?
Well I’d be delighted to hear from you!
For any feedback, comments or movie/TV suggestions, you can find me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and you can reply directly to this email. 🤙
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Thanks again, and I’ll see you in two weeks!
Gogzibear
xxx
Previous Reels:
🎬 Feb 10 - Nomadland, Sound of Metal, WandaVision, Babyteeth.
🎬 Jan 27 - The Mandalorian, The Prom, Captain Fantastic, The Boys.
🎬 Jan 13 - Wonder Woman 1984, Soul, Palm Springs, Little Fockers.
📒 Catalogue:
You can find a list of all previous review scores (and opening movie lines!) here.
🎙️ Podcast:
I’ve also published 10 episodes of my film review podcast Movies (And A Rap) — you can listen on Spotify here.