🎬 "All right, Charlie, this the joint?"
Some Like It Hot (1959). Welcome to the 37th edition of The Reel!
Estimated reading time: 7m 16s.
Two great things happened in the entertainment world since the last Reel:
The SAG-AFTRA strike ended. Minimum contract conditions for writers and actors in the US have now been guaranteed — and more importantly, Graham Norton can have good guests again.
(The Late Late Show in Ireland, unfortunately, continues to have the same calibre of celebrity that you might see guest DJing a club night in Santa Ponsa.)
The greatest movie tagline ever written in the history of movies was put on a poster:
(Going to start saying this menacingly while brandishing a sharp knife at all future dinner parties.)
Time for some reviews!
This week: Old men, simpler times, fading beauty, and a lesbian fight club.
⚠️ 404: Basic Dental Hygiene Not Found.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023), film, directed by Martin Scorsese.
Napoleon (2023), film, directed by Ridley Scott.
I know realism is the supposed ideal with historical films, but does everyone have to have brown teeth?
I like my leading men pretty and hairless, like me as a 12-year-old!
(It was all downhill from there, on both fronts.)
Killers of the Flower Moon and Napoleon, two of this year’s tentpole releases, are both historical films helmed by iconic “is he not dead yet?” directors.
One is almost an hour longer than the other.
It’s also the one that is considerably better.
In KOTF, promising newcomer Martino Scorsusi brings us an epic tale of greed, betrayal and spitting tobacco set in 1920s Oklahoma. This is the first time Scorsese has cast his muses Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert DeNiro together in the same film; it’s a sprawling, funny and chilling look at an unconscionably evil, shameful conspiracy from the not-at-all distant past.
Did it need to be 436 hours long? No, it did not.
(♨️ HOT TAKE ALERT ♨️: no film ever, ever, ever needs to be over three hours long.)
Yet it somehow doesn’t drag, and its ending almost justifies the… methodical approach the filmmakers took to storytelling.
Alas, poor Napoleon, would that it were the same with your tiny self.
Ridley Scott has taken shots at Scorsese recently for his diminishing output of film; “quality over quantity” springs to mind.
The Nappy biopic is entertaining, with thrilling battle scenes and detailed sets & costumes. But its characterisation of one of history’s most influential, destructive individuals feels disjointed and incomplete.
Scorsese wins this time.
Look out for:
What do Oscar winners Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington and British panel show comedian Miles Jupp have in common? They’ve all appeared in Ridley Scott films. Keep an eye out for the most random cameo of the year (decade?) in Napoleon.
If you liked this:
Good on KOTF for bringing to light a perhaps not universally known tragedy in American history. Wind River does a similarly tragic service, with a harrowing tale of Native American abuse occurring in the present day.
Ratings: KOTF ⭐⭐⭐⭐, Napoleon ⭐⭐⭐
🫡 I choose not to accept this mission.
Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part I (2023), film, directed by Christopher McQuarrie.
I think it’s time we stop fetishizing Tom Cruise for his stunt excellence...
… and start fetishizing him for his hair!!! That man is 63 years old?? Good for you, guy!
The latest instalment in the revitalised Mission Impossible series was unfortunate to be released alongside Barbenheimer this summer, meaning nobody saw it.
It’s also unfortunate to be quite terrible, meaning nobody liked it.*
(*OK most people did actually seem to like it, but you can’t trust people, Jeremy.)
This is not so much a film as it is a loose collection of stupendous set pieces. It feels like a group of people sat down and said “OK, what amazing stunts can we do this time?” and then retroactively constructed a plot that could fit them all in.
Call me old-fashioned, but I like my films to have an at least passably engaging story.
Speaking of old-fashioned, Ethan Hunt’s perplexing soft spot for superthief Grace, played by franchise newcomer Hayley Atwell, is either very sexist or very incompetent. Either way, this secret agent is overdue a permanent retirement.
Look out for:
These common signs that your hairline is receding:
You can see more of your own skull.
There is less hair on your front head area.
Your girlfriend won’t look you in the eye when you ask her directly if your hairline is receding and when she says no and you say you don’t believe her she doesn’t follow up to correct you and so you ask her again and she says no and to leave her alone because she’s really busy but you can see that she’s just scrolling on Vinted which you say to her and she says it’s “important research” and then you look into a mirror and you have even less hair than you did the day before.
If you liked this:
Where is the rabbit’s foot?! Mission Impossible III is the peak of the franchise. 👌
Rating: ⭐⭐
🙏🏽 Thank God for the girls and the gays.
Theatre Camp (2023), film, directed by Molly Gordon & Nick Lieberman.
Bottoms (2023), film, directed by Emma Seligman.
Is it just me or have there been a few too many hetero action boyboys in this blog thus far?
Can we get some camp in here — literally? 😏
Theatre Camp is a mockumentary set in a musical theatre “sleepaway” summer camp in upstate New York. Outside of the surprisingly excellent musical numbers, it’s almost entirely improvised — expect theatre kid in-jokes, jaded ex-professional malaise, and fish-out-of-water happenstance.
It’s not the best comedy in this newsletter, however. The best comedy of the year is undoubtedly the triumphant Bottoms, directed by rising star Emma Seligman.
Bottoms is a high school comedy about two lesbians played by Rachel Sennott and The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri (who also features in Theatre Camp), who set up an all-female “fight club” as a guise to pick up cheerleaders.
It’s a side-splitting, nostalgia-tinted, violent breath of fresh air that’s as funny as Superbad and gayer than Booksmart.
The high school setting borders on surreal: classic caricatures of dumb jocks and repressed outcasts are taken to outlandish extremes, all adult characters are terrible and/or insane, and despite the modern setting, there is no tech on display aside from one Motorola flip phone and a classic Walkman.
Its irreverent humour sometimes goes an inch too far, but even that should probably be applauded?
Go see Bottoms, preferably in the cinema.
Look out for:
The posters on the wall of the high school in Bottoms are perfect examples of blink-and-you’ll-miss-it visual comedy. While lampooning every musical ever, Theatre Camp also might have created one of the best musical ending songs ever..?
If you liked this:
Director Silgman described Bottoms as a “campy queer high school comedy in the vein of Wet Hot American Summer but more for a Gen-Z queer audience”. Both the original Wet Hot.. film and the Netflix sequel series are triumphs.
Rating: Theatre Camp ⭐⭐⭐, Bottoms ⭐⭐⭐⭐
⏩ Quickies
Short and snappy reviews for a short and snappy time:
The Little Mermaid (2023, film, dir. Rob Marshall): ⭐⭐⭐
Impressive CGI and a beautiful central performance, but as with the original, I was overcome with emotion at the classic line: “I want to be where the people are.” That’s literally all that I have ever wanted as well?! Maybe I was the little mermaid all along. 🥲
Saltburn (2023, film, dir. Emerald Fennell): ⭐⭐⭐⭐
It starts as a classic tale of underprivileged ambition meets wealthy arrogance, but develops into so much more. Standout elements: the brilliant Rosamund Pike as eccentric Elspeth, masterful use of 2006-07 alt bangers (remember Bloc Party?), and numerous shots of Barry Keoghan’s irrefutably large penis. (c’mon Ireland!!! 🇮🇪)
Past Lives (2023, film, dir. Celine Song): ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Has Korean film always slapped this hard or am I just an uneducated philistine? For a film where not a huge amount happens, this is an enthralling tale of love, friendship, destiny and the immigrant experience, set against two stunning backdrops in Seoul and New Yawk City.
Clerks (1994, film, dir. Kevin Smith): ⭐
Why do people think this is good? 🤔 It’s hard to follow, unfunny, and intensely immature while somehow also being pretentious. Kevin Smith is a comic book titan and a very adept standup comedian — if only his feature films measured up.
📃 Quote of the Week(s)
Amos: “Acting is remembering, and then choosing to forget.”
A highlight of the many, many improvised lines in Theatre Camp.
✅ Th-th-that’s all, folks.
Thank you very much for reading! ❤️
If you enjoyed this edition, I would appreciate so much if you could share it. 🙏🏻
Thank you v much again, and see you next time!
Gogzibear
xxx
📅 Previous Reels:
🎬 Sep 20 - Barbie, Oppenheimer, John Wick 4, Extraction 2, Top Boy.
🎬 Apr 27 - Rye Lane, All Quiet on the Western Front, Ant-Man & The Wasp.
🎬 Feb 15 - Aftersun, Blue Jean, Tár, Glass Onion, Midsommar.
📒 Catalogue:
You can find a list of all film review scores (and opening movie lines!) here.
🎙️ Podcast:
I’ve also published 10 episodes of a film review podcast Movies (And A Rap) — you can listen on Spotify here.